Once upon a time, more than 5 years ago, I used to lament the fact that new moms had little in the way of private time. Often, I would share this frustation with other young, new mothers; and find the same issues. Showers, in this new stage of motherhood, were a rare luxury. After going a day or two without showering (not that it mattered, I wasn't going anywhere) I would resolve myself to allowing time for a short shower. I would tow either the baby monitor (if Brooklyn was sleeping) or the baby herself in a bouncy seat into the bathroom, so that she didn't have a single moment of need. Even at that, I would shower as quickly as possible, as to be able to meet her every demand, immediately. After all, the experts say that it is important to respond quickly to your baby, that will establish trust, and then they will cry less because they trust you to take care of them (ha, ha, those experts).
Five years later, I have learned this: kids cry. They will cry whether or not you respond. In fact, it is possible that too quick of a response will inicit more crying, because they learn that as soon as they make a peep, Mom jumps into action. So, this morning in the shower, I relished in the hot water as I overheard all three of my kids at the door. Whining, talking, asking questions, crying, etc. was all part of it. I did not feel guilty that the door was locked. It did not ruin my shower. I did not feel any pressure to shower more quickly (in fact, knowing what was awaiting me probably made me stay there longer). I figure, when all of them are at the door, at least I know where they are and what they are doing. I would probably be more worried and hurried if I didn't hear any noise outside the door.
Now, of course, this will all change within the next week, as I add a new baby to the mix. I'm certainly not trusting enough of the level of care that his siblings will/will not provide to leave a new baby unsupervised...but I might be able to still lock that door, take the baby inside the bathroom, and enjoy a shower (even if he wimpers or whines a bit). After all, every other second of my life is dedicated to them; a shower isn't much to ask (besides, Brooklyn and Ty are now old enough to tell me that I STINK!)
4 comments:
Hahaha, this made me smile! Showering... who knew it could get so complicated? :-)
GOOD LUCK with the new baby!!! I'm so excited to have a new nephew!! Love ya!
What a lovely post Nicki! That is truly something that can not be taught to a new mother, it can only be learned by practical experience. I have had many a shower with a wailing child outside the door, and you're right, you know right where they are. Although the last two mornings Dallin has used my shower time to push a barstool up to the counter and eat the cake on the counter. Frosting only of course!
Yeah, hearing them all screaming on the other side of the door definitely prolongs my showers, too!! Ha ha ha ha!!! [As I type this, the littlest one is screaming bloody murder....]
I remember those panicked showers, too--good times. Now they are usually happy to get to watch a show without me interrupting them, although they do pound on the door often enough, too. But just for those really important, life or death things, like they NEED a starburst. Kids.
So excited for your new addition, and can't wait to come visit.
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